4 Tactics to Help You Refocus What is Important to You
Part 3: The pursuit of that perfect body can be absolutely draining - mentally, physically, and financially.
In my fitness coaching business, this couldn’t be more apparent. Two of the most common behaviours I see in women is the pursuit of perfectionism and engaging in comparison. They both go very much hand in hand and often work together to prevent women from truly reaching their goals.
Striving for perfection and measuring yourself by high, unattainable standards only has a negative impact. There are so many options marketed to us - diets, creams, pills, injections. Perfection is very much an illusion constructed at the end of a photoshoot with airbrushing and filters. Unfortunately it is not a true depiction of us as humans. As women (and males too) we have cellulite, wrinkles, moles, freckles, scars, fat (it’s normal) and so much more. All of which makes us who we are.
1. Recognise that everyone’s path in life is different, and not one person is the same
I sometimes compare my business to other fitness professionals, and before I know it I’ve wound myself up because I’m not where they are, when in reality I am exactly where I am meant to be and I have choices about what the next steps look like. I have to remind myself I have been working on this for the last ten years in different capacities to get me to this point.
As long as we are looking at what someone else has got, or what they are doing, we begin to focus solely on the external and this takes away from what needs to be done on the inside. Looking outward will only get you so far.
It’s so apparent as I write this now: it’s exactly what I have been doing for the last several months since moving from Singapore. I’ve been so focused on looking at what everyone is doing that I am forgetting who I am, what I stand for, and how I coach.
2. Remember social media is a highlight reel
We have to continually remind ourself that posts have been filtered, adapted, and angled in a way to get the perfect shot. It does not depict the reality of how they’re feeling in that moment, which leaves out the reality - and the difficulty - of life.
3. Make it a daily goal to work on loving and accepting yourself
As cliche as this might sound, it's true. We can spend our time wishing we were thinner or look like the women in magazines. The problem when you’re striving for something that may not be within reach, is that you set yourself up to always be unhappy with how you look.
When we have a true sense of ourselves, we realise we don’t have to compare ourselves to others. This energy can now be focused on your goals, and we can truly boss our lives making the best decisions for ourselves. For many of us, self-acceptance is a constant work in progress, so there’s a chance you’ll have to work on this daily. By gaining more self-awareness, you’ll be more connected to what you actually need, rather than seeking validation from others or chasing body ideals.
4. Set realistic and timely goals
I’ve coached hundreds of women who struggle to keep going when their programmes and paths no longer go the way they had planned. When their vision of four days training a week turned into meetings or collecting kids from school, or when their bodies don’t change as quickly as they had seen in other people’s transformations, they just want to quit or turn inwards.
Often our goals are set too high and don’t take into account that progress will not be linear. Your plan needs to be agile and fluid, because let me tell you something - life happens. It will throw you curveballs but keep your eyes on those goals, make them realistic to you and your life, and start small. Don’t stop at the first hurdle and instead ask yourself what can I learn from this and what can I be doing better!
It’s always about progress, not perfectionism.
