Why Comparison Won’t Help You Achieve Your Goal
Part one: getting to grips with what comparison is and how it can show up for us, to meeting ourselves where we are at.
We all compare aspects of our lives to those of other people, whether it be our careers, home, family, or lifestyle, and the gym is no exception. Not only can this be detrimental to our mental wellbeing, but also to our physical wellbeing too.
So why shouldn’t we compare ourselves to others?
We can often fall short of ourselves and our capabilities when it comes to working out and our fitness levels. It’s important to understand that we all have different experiences, body types, genetics, upbringing, cultures, abilities, environments, and different seasons of life.
If you're focusing on someone else's workouts, body, or gains rather than your own, you may injure yourself trying to perform exercises that exceed your current level. Also, when we focus on other people we take valuable energy away from ourselves, which in turn can drive us further away from our goals.
Life is like a set of seasons. Your partner may have lost their job, there may have been a death in the family, or you may have sustained an injury. Life happens and we will always face roadblocks. The important thing is to not compare yourself in your ‘off season’ to someone who is at the top of their game. This will only lead to disappointment.
Recently, a fellow gym goer kindly complimented me on being strong and looking strong, which led him to ask what I eat, how I train, etc. There’s a few things to address here so I'll be to the point as I can.
Male vs female - physiologically we have a large number of similarities but there are known differences when it comes to hormone imbalances, our menstrual cycle to consider.
Asking someone what they eat is not going to be helpful - their diet probably won’t work for you.
We all do things differently; from our work, movement, family/life balance, stress levels, so asking what someone is doing in their life or copying an influencer’s typical routine isn’t going to help you understand what you need to be eating, training, and feeling to get you to your goal - it just deflects.
The focus should always be on you. Here’s some questions I recommend you ask yourself:
What do I stand for?
What is currently going on in my life right now?
What do I need to prioritise?
What season am I in? Rest, maintenance, high intensity, strength, fat loss, holiday
Particularly if you used to be into your fitness and took an extended break, it’s easy to compare yourself to previous form and where you’re at now.
You will continuously be disappointed when you don’t look, weigh, lift or feel like the person you are comparing yourself to.
Your Body Type
The next point is that the exercise may be wrong for your body type! We often see at the gym or via social media someone following another coach's full workout routine. This is only a taster of what they can offer, however, and not the full programme that will get results for you.
As personal trainers, we understand that everyone is different, which is why when we put together a training program for you it is specifically designed and tailored to your body type, shape, fitness level, and weight. The programme should meet you exactly where you’re at, rather than where you think you ‘should’ be.
Your Mental Health
Your mental health is paramount. By comparing yourself to others, however, you can create subconscious thought patterns that lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and not feeling good enough. In a world fuelled by social media, with influencers and businesses trying to make money from your insecurities, it’s time we put the focus on you, on what you’re doing well, and what you need to improve (in a space of non-judgement). In short, it’s important to work with our circumstances, not someone else's.
Focus on your Journey and Health
Next time you’re working out or looking for inspiration, try to focus on your own journey and your own wins. Set small goals and be realistic. You may need a buffer period of a few months - tell yourself ‘hey I’m going to try a few things and see what makes me feel good, challenges me, helps me progress.’ Remember: everyone's goals are different; some people want to lose weight, some want to gain weight, some want to just move, some want to get strong, and some want to be super fast. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison, but the more you focus on yourself, the more likely you are to reach your full potential.
