10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Leaving Singapore
If you’re moving back home after a while away, or simply in a transitional phase of your life and going through some changes, then this is for you!
I made the decision to leave Singapore in the summer of 2021. I had been in Singapore for 8 years and was curious to find out what else there was. I knew I had to take action quickly, before I started overthinking it, so I immediately booked a one way ticket out. I had been in Singapore for 8 years and was curious to find out what else there was, but I absolutely loved my time in Singapore and the transitional period has been challenging. I feel and hope the following thoughts from this time will help anyone making a big move or big life changes:
1. Be aware that it won’t be easy
Keeping it real with you always, because no decision should be made lightly. There are many different facets to change, and some of them aren’t easy. For me, it's been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions from day to day. Know there will never be a right time - make the decision, take action, and let the rest fall into place. So, knowing it will be hard, ask yourself: will it be worth it?
2. Recognise that change is uncomfortable
No journey is easy, but especially the ones worth having. Over the years, I’ve come to realise that the most uncomfortable moments in my life have been some of the most rewarding - although it never feels like that in the moment!
When you go through changes, you may lose parts of your old self, and that’s scary. But, in the process you will uncover new parts of yourself, and new ways of thinking and being. This is where the magic happens - as you let go of the old that no longer serves you in your new chapter of life, maintain the parts of you that make you, you but also be willing and open to explore the new. Sometimes, you need to feel lost in order to be found.
3. Don’t get caught in the comparison trap
This is something that took me by surprise. When we’re in these moments, feelings of discomfort can be heightened when we’re aware of how well everyone else is doing. You will look at others who really know who they are, what they’re going for, and who appear further ahead in life than us. The truth is everyone is on their own path, figuring things out just like you. When we focus on other people's journeys, we forget to put energy into ours.
4. Be patient with yourself
This is a good one! We’re all going a hundred miles an hour and society seems to applaud this, encouraging quick turnovers. The trouble is we never get to fully process or develop awareness around where we’ve been, where we’re at, and where we’re going. I’m someone who wants to have all the answers, so I’ve had to develop patience in times of uncertainty, learning to pay attention to how I feel and what I need in the moment. You will need to work through changes, and that takes time. Find patience - you won’t have it all figured out right away.
5. Take your time
Similar to the previous point, but worth its own section nonetheless. There’s one thing in life we don’t get back, and that’s time. When you’re in a transitional period, time may feel like it’s passing you by. Just know that things get better. No matter what kind of change you’re going through - whether it’s a new job, new country, or new relationship, we all take time to heal, process, figure things out.
6. Do what feels ‘normal’
For me, non-negotiables were making time for the gym, having my own car, and making new friends. It was helpful to me in finding my footing to do some of the things that were normal to me.
7. Don’t fight it - feel it
I faced my own resistance on multiple occasions when trying to make sense of my choices and my new environment, and had myself a few pity parties. It was hard to find support at home as hardly any of my friends and family had lived abroad and could empathise with what I was going through. I found writing my feelings down really valuable, detailing what I wanted to change and holding space for those negative emotions.
8. Realign your values
As life changes, as we make decisions and take on new opportunities, we need to understand how our values might be changing, too. You may have different priorities and that’s ok. For the first couple of months back in the UK, I was comparing winter days to 32 degree heat days in Singapore. At the time it felt like a valid comparison, and I couldn’t get why there were moments I wasn’t enjoying England. This is because my values and expectations were based around wearing shorts and t-shirts, and baking under the sun. Eventually, I realised I needed to reevaluate my values. So, remember what has changed for you and move your expectations to meet you where you’re at.
9. Take it back to basics
Don’t make anything more complicated than it needs to be. What worked for you before won’t necessarily work for you in a new environment. Easier said than done, but this is your reminder to strip things back, try out a few new routines and see what suits you best.
10. Stay focused on the WHY
You’re only human, so be kind to yourself 🌸. Remembering my WHY is the reason I’m still here in the UK: I didn’t want to die knowing I never took the risk to leave Singapore.
I’ve been working through a lot the last few months, from work and friends to my living situation and who I am. It has made me question everything - in a good way. That’s the beauty of risk and change - it won’t feel comfortable. That’s why knowing your why is so important.
Check out & listen to the link in my bio for the podcast episode I recorded on this: 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Leaving Singapore
