12 Lessons from 2022
This year was one of the biggest years of my life. There were moments I was just floating, others I was struggling to stay afloat to thriving. I truly felt struggle this year and I created it. A year on from leaving Singapore I have learnt so much about myself, how to run a business, travelling the world, moving to the UK, to then now in Bali.
You are the creator of your life and you get to decide what happens. There is so much power in being able to make those decisions. I love a good reflection on life and what I have learnt. I’ll be doing more of that when I have my out of office on next week. It’s been an incredible year and this is just me getting started.
So for now before I waffle on… here are 12 lessons I have walked away stronger, more connected to myself and so proud of everything I have achieved and taken action on. I hope this inspires or resonates with each of you in some way!
1. YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING
Know that you have the ability to handle anything that comes your way. No seriously. You can do that. The biggest shift for you is to truly believe in that. One of the biggest things stopping people achieve their goals is the disbelief in actually achieving them.
When you continue with the mindset of "I can handle this" you give yourself that vote of confidence to
2. TAKE THAT RISK
Honestly. The thing that you're afraid of doing in this moment is more than likely the thing that you need to be doing to help you get closer to the life you want to lead, the person you want to be.
I'm not saying quit your job tomorrow. Like me I have always given myself transition periods no matter how much I didn't like my job or a relationship I had. I chose to give it everything I could, reframe my why and the purpose. For example to stay in the job to continue getting paid, so I could pay my bills. It served a purpose to get me to the next step.
3. DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU
Fear is the single most common feeling that stops people and even you doing the thing or taking that risk.
In the words of author Susan from 'Feel the Fear and do it anyways,' - Do it when scared.
I turned to a new chapter this year, moving countries a couple of times, ripped the band aid off (boy did it hurt - more than I realised). But without risk there’s no rewards in seeing all of the amazing opportunities that are out there.
4. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE
This year has one of the best years to date. Why? Because I went home after no seeing my family for two and a half years. I saw my sister pregnant and was around for the birth of my nephew (he's sooo unbelievably cute), I spent time with my mum, dad, grandparents to my best friends. The thing is we all have our own lives to lead, but nothing beats being surrounded by those who love you.
Tell the people you love that you love them, appreciate them and get that quality time in (off your phones)!
5. RATHER TRY, THAN NEVER KNOW
I live by this every day and it’s something I remember my mum and dad teaching me from a young age. If you don’t try anything you’ll never know what it unlocks with you. How much you may come to love a new sport, skill, hobby without trying.
The worst that can happen is you don’t like it and you try something else you like more.
The key is not stopping something because you’re not an olympian within 2 weeks. You pursue what matters, you keep showing up for yourself because it shows more about you as a person from integrity, to willpower, to determination, to building your inner strength that no matter what you’re willing to put yourself out there to grow.
6. SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOURSELF
Spending time with yourself connects you to who you are at the very core. Some parts you may not like, other parts you see improvement, others you love and cherish. When you know more about you, you’re able to harness your strengths, master your weaknesses, but unlock this next level of self awareness.
When you spend more time with yourself you can unlock so many different corners of who you are. Some are afraid of spending that time with themselves. But the truth is if you’re constantly relying on people to make you happy, people to uplift you (there’s nothing wrong with this). However if you solely rely on others to create this for you rather than yourself. You move further away from knowing how to do this for yourself.
When you have this you unlock a fierce power within yourself that you can always rely on to get you and give you what you need.
How to harness this? It all comes from empowering yourself with the right questions. You can start with: What do I need to do for myself right now?
Introspection is an incredible value and level of self awareness to help you elevate your life. You have the answers and can find them yourself, but it’s within the questions you ask that will help you to find what you want and need.
7. SAY NO TO ENERGY VAMPIRES
There’s two types of people in this world. You either have the battery bunnies or the energy vampires.
Taking note of who you’re spending your time with is key. A huge lesson I have learnt is that I can’t save or help anyone who isn’t willing to listen or help themselves.
You will have or have had people in your life that zap the living daylights out of you. They always have something to complain about, they lead with anxiousness, they leave you feeling worse than what you did before questioning things.
On the other hand you’ll have these people I like to call ‘Duracell Bunnies,’ those that uplift you, make you feel like you can achieve anything, help you believe in yourself when you’re missing it. They leave you feeling amazing, you’re challenged, have new perspectives and on a high to keep doing what you’re going for.
Choose who you’re spending your time with and focus more around people who make you feel incredible.
8. LEARN FROM PAIN, FOLLOW THE ENERGY
You want the truth? We will always experience pain. It’s the way of life whether it’s through death, illness, physical, loss. You have to learn to face it, work through it. What we choose next is what matters most. That’s suffering. We can choose how we suffer to any situation. Some pain will leave us with more than others.
Building yourself up in the interim by challenging your mind, body and soul can help you feel more prepared in how you will handle any given situation. Instead follow the energy that lights you up. Find the light at the end of the tunnel. The light in the smallest of daily tasks to keep you moving forwards, healing, and evolving.
Know this - you can handle anything.
9. KNOW YOURSELF AT YOUR BEST AND WORST
When you know yourself at your worst, you thrive in a whole other level when you’re at your best.
Facing the pain, facing the challenges head on helps you to build resilience.
Learning to find your strength when your most vulnerable will keep setting you up for life. Hone into it, own it and keep unlocking theses new levels of you.
10. YOU FIND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS ARE
With anything in life and I am sure you have experienced anything in life you realise quickly in scenarios in life
I had a huge experience happen in my life which was down to choices I made that impacted a huge part in my life that nearly broke me. The worst I put myself in that position. The light of it and with other things that have ever happened is I have truly learnt in that moment who is with me no matter what, and those that fled the moment I was in trouble.
It SUCKS. But I remember my mum telling me in comfort - you learn quickly who your friends are. It becomes a blessing in disguise.
Learn from who you’re attracting and who is there for you. The same cycle will keep repeating itself until you do something about it. If you attracting toxic relationships look at yourself and what you’re doing, if you see the red flags know to walk away. Actions speak louder than words.
So the focus comes back to you - mean what you say, take action on what you’re say.
11. STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM MINDSET CARD, START THRIVING IN CURIOSITY
Too often we can fall into the trap of why me, why does this always happen to me, why is this the problem. The blame game is real and the problem with falling into this mindset it sets you further back.
Yes we all need our time to express our feelings and emotions of anger, frustration, disappointment, weakness. What’s not ok is letting those thoughts run your day. The more your submerse yourself in those thoughts, the more your become.
By getting curious, taking action, trying new things you open new doors, you find new connections and conversations that can help you transform your whole life.
12. YOU CAN REINVENT YOURSELF AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
You evolve daily whether you pay attention to it or not. But you get to choose how your story continues and ends. You get to choose how you show up for yourself every day.
The best way I know how and it will be different for everyone is that in order to reinvent yourself you have to let go of the old in for the new.
New perspectives
New feelings
New fears
New friendships
New connections
New experiences
What once held you back is now your greatest strength. Know that you’re the pilot of your life and you choose the destination you’re going to.
Stop letting others dictate what that looks and feels like to you. Set the boundaries, prioritise yourself. Read the books, listen to the podcasts, surround yourself with the people that elevate you. Walk away from the things that do not serve you any longer.
Thank you for coming to my 12 lessons of my life in 2022 and Ted Talk.
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