5 Ways to Focus on What You Can Control & Daily Habits
It’s so easy to let others dictate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, whether it’s someone on social media or the people we spend time with. We often focus on the things we can’t control, and forget that we actually have a lot of power. Yes there’s lots we can’t control, but there’s actually a lot you can. It requires constant work, but as you progress you will start to pay more attention and be more aware of your triggers. Here are four practical tips that you can apply today, which will focus on what you can control:
Make a List
The first step is to focus on what you can control by making a list of “things I can control.” When you take the time to reflect, you’ll likely realise that you have a lot more control than you thought! To help you get started, here’s some ideas of what you can add:
Your attitude: Whilst we can’t control what happens to us, we can control our attitude to any given situation. For example, if you get stuck in traffic and you’re late for work, you can decide if you’re going to get road rage or accept that ‘it is what it is,’ and just do your best to get to work as soon as you can. Creating additional unnecessary stress doesn’t help the traffic move any faster.
Your breath: We are breathing 24/7, so it’s easy to forget we have the power to control and connect to our breath. There is a growing awareness of the power of meditation, the Wim Hof method, and various other techniques, in helping you pause, feel calm, and reside in a parasympathetic state.
Your self-care: We can’t control the hand we’ve been dealt in life but we can use a number of resources to help us take the time to look after our physical and mental health.
Your health & fitness: Whilst we can’t control our genetic predispositions to health conditions or snap out of chronic illnesses, we can focus on what you can control and take charge. This can look like training adherence, building a healthy relationship to food, establishing good sleep hygiene, managing stress, and hydrating.
Your effort: In any area of life, whether it’s work or personal, you control the effort you put in.
These are a great foundation to get you started. You should make your list as specific as possible and keep it close by, so that when you feel like life, thoughts, feelings, or emotions are getting out of control, you can refer back to it.
2. Cultivate Positivity
Often, too much power and energy are given to the things we cannot control. A pessimistic mindset will lead you to focus on what you can’t control, but if you cultivate more positivity, your perspective will more easily shift to focusing on what you can control. You will feel like you have more power and strength to take on life’s challenges. Start the day by naming three things you're grateful for or, at the end of the day, reflect on what the highlight of your day was.
3. Use Mindful Breathing
The breath is a powerful but underused tool. Breath work helps bring you back to a parasympathetic state which aids rest and recovery. It’s important to establish this practice when you’re not in a state of stress initially, so you get used to the calmness and feeling of control, and then in moments when you need to use it on a more conscious level, you have that tool handy. I advise 10-20 deep breaths of 4 seconds in, 4 seconds hold, 8 second exhale. This will help bring your heart rate down. Be sure to make the breath your main focus when trying to find your calm.
Another simple method is the following:
Lay down and put one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly.
Take a deep, slow inhale through your nose. Remember that the breath is one of the things you can control. Try to inhale for a count of 5. Feel your belly rise as you breathe in.
Hold your breath for a couple of seconds before exhaling through your mouth through pursed lips, slowly and with control. Try to exhale for a count of 7. Feel your belly fall as you breathe out all the air.
Continue this process for at least 10 full breaths. With every inhale and exhale, say to yourself, “My breath is one of the many things I can control.”
4. Keep a Can-Do Attitude
Along with cultivating positivity, keep a can-do attitude, telling yourself: “I can handle this”. This will help you to focus on the things you can control in your internal sphere and externally. Apply your can-do attitude to your list of things you can control and keep working on them. It takes time to master and will always be a progress as new things come onto the table, but your attitude will be important in creating success.
5. Maintain a ‘Toolbox’ of Successful Methods
Keep track of your tried-and-tested tools that you can lean on. Not all will be helpful every single time, so it’s good to have a range of tools at your disposal. By learning to use tools like meditation, music, journaling, going for a walk, exercising, talking to someone, and more, you’ll be able to distance yourself from an emotional response. Find out what works for you.
Keep in mind it will take time to shift your mindset to focus on what you can control, but I encourage you to stick with it. It will be worth it as you unlock another level of self-awareness. With conscious discipline and a can-do attitude, you can literally change your life. If you need some extra help to focus on what you can control, develop tools to manage situations and develop new healthy habits through coaching with me from anywhere in the world. To find out more book in a call with me right here that’s totally free and no obligation: Let’s talk here
Have a great day!
Lizzie xxx
